Confronting the Temptation of Escapism
It’s time that we address the idea of escapism and how it is so tempting to engage in these distracting behaviours nowadays.
Our day to day lives can be so stressful to the point where we feel like we’re being pulled in all directions.
From the demands of work, family, friends, and personal responsibilities, it can feel like we’re being stretched beyond capacity with little to no room to process it all.
So what do we do?
We find ways of suppressing, distracting and ultimately avoiding reality.
We engage in escapism.
Today we’re going to talk about:
What is escapism
How our society normalizes escapism
How escapism has manifested in my life
Reflections on Escapism
What is Escapism
The definition of escapism according to Merrian-Webster is “habitual diversion of the mind to purely imaginative activity or entertainment as an escape from reality or routine.”
Based on the definition alone, it would be fair to assume that we all engage in escapism in one way or another and it’s helpful to think of it on a spectrum.
On one end we could view escapism as watching a movie, listening to music, or going out for drinks with friends.
On the other end of the spectrum it could be binge watching movies for days, listening to music all day long to drown out all of the uncomfortable silence in your life, or going out for drinks every night of the week as a means to wind down from your day.
The point I’m trying to make here is that we all engage in escapism in sometimes healthy and unhealthy ways.
The purpose of this post isn’t to point out all the potentially negative ways we may cope with life but to rather get you to question what is driving your behaviour and understanding how it is serving you.
I saw this post on Dr.Rangan Chatterjee’s Instagram page and I thought it fit perfectly with this blog post.
Asking yourself why you may engage in a particular behaviour and allow yourself time to understand what function it serves in your life is a good place to start.
Image owned by Eleahvate
How Our Society Normalizes Escapism
Escapism is something that has been romanticized and even encouraged as a social norm.
Think about it, what do we see on ads?
You may see an ad for a particular alcohol and it encouraging people to live for the weekends… “TGIF”
Think about how you bond with people over the ineffective but comforting ways that we all choose to cope with stress such as binge watching shows all weekend as a way to unplug.
Or even, romanticizing being a workaholic in the name of achievement and success but the root of it may be how dissatisfied you feel with your personal life.
Now, I’m not saying that engaging in any one of these behaviours/activities in isolation is a bad thing, I pretty much engage in them all (minus being a workaholic 🙂) and sometimes in questionable amounts.
We’re human beings, we require ways to unplug and destress from life’s stressors or else we wouldn’t be able to handle the everyday challenges as they come.
But I think it is worthwhile to question why is this level of dissociation and distraction so tempting and habitual for us?
We may not even be conscious that we’re engaging in such a deep level of escapism because it slowly creeps up as part of our regular routine.
And sometimes it feels necessary and justified, but at what point is it destructive and keeping you stagnant?
Image owned by Eleahvate
How Escapism has Manifested in My Life
As we’ve discussed, escapism can show up in various ways in our lives.
For me I began to notice that it coincided with when I was feeling burnt out from work.
I would describe myself as extroverted but having alone time to recharge and “reset” my battery is crucial.
I slowly started to realize that my “recharging time” began to take on a new meaning right in the midst of my burnout.
Over time I realized I was rushing home from a busy day and drowning myself in excessive amounts of binging netflix or endless scrolling on my phone.
Doing this every so often didn’t feel problematic but when I started engaging in these behaviours more consistently, that's when I noticed something was off.
Initially I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I was feeling but I noticed that I had a feeling of emptiness after a while.
At the root of it, I was engaging in these behaviours as a way to escape the very real feelings of discontent, frustration, disappointment, and grief that I was feeling.
This was problematic for me because I had no energy to engage in activities that would typically allow me to process what I was feeling such as calling a friend, going for a walk or journaling.
This is not to say that speaking about our inner struggles will automatically give way to a solution but even being able to acknowledge that I felt specific emotion would at least allow me to be one step closer to accepting it.
I think there’s a healthy level of allowing feelings to “marinade” if you will, but I personally feel like when it becomes excessive or prolonged that signals that I may need to address it differently.
Image owned by Eleahvate. Adapted from Ivan Khalil article
Reflections on Understanding Escapism
I don’t think there is a true one size fits all answer on how to deal with escapism because it is a complex topic at it’s core.
But I wanted to offer some of the reflections that I’ve been navigating through with y’all.
1- How do I distinguish between healthy decompressing and escapism?
When I ponder about this reflection, it’s the difference between what is recharging my battery and what is depleting me and working to suppress a feeling.
I think that escapism can be a positive thing.
For example, think about the idea of how present people feel when they are connected to nature.
In this setting you’re able to disconnect from any real life responsibilities, and focus on the present and calming environment you’re in.
You’re still technically doing something that is distracting you from any real life responsibilities or issues but it would be fair to assume that one would feel recharged after an activity like this.
The mental clarity you’d have during and after this would likely restore you with some energy to start addressing or get curious about some of the complex feelings you may be having.
2- Is Escapism vital in a world where so much is not under our control?
This is something I think about a lot because living in this current society where bad news is so accessible via the news, social media, even in dialogue within our circles, it almost feels like a mindless respite is vital for our being.
I think about how normal it is for us to see content online about war and how detrimental it can be for our brains to have repeated exposure to this, let alone someone actually having to live through this.
Sometimes I question if mindless respite is the answer when we are trying to process unimaginable realities whether it be for ourselves or others.
3- What are we escaping from? And what are we turning toward?
I read this insightful piece on Medium that I’ll link here, but the writer posed a good question “What are we escaping from and what are we turning toward.”
When I think about what we are escaping from I think about the following examples:
Demanding jobs
Disproportionate pay to cost of living
Unrealistic expectations via social media
Challenging relationships
All of the above are obvious examples of what can make our lives quite complex and challenging at times.
When we think about what we turn toward in situations like this, think of all the examples I’ve listed in this post.
The simple answer is that we are escaping the complexities of our hard lives and the simple solution would be… to not have a difficult life.
Well…
That gets us absolutely no where. Life is complex.
But in regards to the parts of our lives that may be out of our control I think we use that as our rationale to engage in dissociating activities.
Because intuitively it may feel useless to dwell on things that we feel are out of our control.
Which is why we may choose to not focus on them and give our minds a break.
Finding the balance between healthy distraction and complete suppression of the present can be a tricky spot but this prompt is a good place to start even if you’re not satisfied with the reality of how you’ve been coping.
Sometimes it is alluring to be unconscious because as they say “ignorance is bliss” until it’s not..
When you come to the point where you’re dissatisfied with how you’ve been coping, being conscious is the first step to working through your inner world.
Last thoughts
Escapism is very real and even though it is something that has been somewhat normalized, it is worth questioning the role and perhaps toll it is taking on our lives.
I think that’s exactly it, is it playing a role or a toll?
How does escapism show up in your life?
With love,
Leah
Instagram: @eleahvate
Pinterest: @eleahvate
References:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/escapism
https://ivan-khalil.medium.com/the-case-for-and-against-escapism-ca9752859103
